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“It got to be he was making me a nervous wreck. When Iwould turn suddenly in the middle of the room, I wouldalmost trip over him, he was hugging that close behindme.“I had been having my period, was just over it as amatter of fact, and had gone to the bathroom to pee.Clyde followed me inside and stood, his head just abouttouching my knees. He was panting and had a glazed lookin his eyes.“Naturally I pushed him away, told him to get out ofthere, but he came right back. I tried patting him onthe head and calling him nice names. This seemed tomerely encourage him. He stopped panting, licked hislips, and began snaking his head forward as if to getit between my legs.“At first I thought maybe he was thirsty. You know howhe likes to drink water from the toilet bowl. I lovethe pooch so much, I thought, well, go ahead. Let himhave a drink while I was sitting there. I hadn’t goneyet, so I spread my legs.“Well, Bea, he didn’t want a drink. He went. .” She leans forward and lets the big dog lick at her face, smiling and letting her mouth open just a little as his tongue slops over them – between them...After a second, she looks up and smiles, laughing a little. “The good news ... Experts tell me that dogs can’t catch Covid-19 ... And we can’t catch Covid-19 from dogs ... So Thor here – doesn’t need to ‘socially distance’ himself...”We cut to a shot of her in a car, driving. One of those GoPro mounted in the corner of the car shots. Thor is in the rear of the car.Charley continues to talk to us – occasionally looking toward the camera as she drives.“So today we’re taking a little drive over to Doncaster, in Yorkshire ... Where we’re going to meet a lady who describes herself as ‘the sluttiest slut in Yorkshire’ ... I’ve met a few slutty sluts from Yorkshire – this lady has a lot to prove...”We cut to a handheld point-of-view shot of an empty residential street – a couple of curtains twitching as neighbours check who’s outside ....
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